Fri5 Still no Friday 5, and the archived ones have been temporarily taken down due to excessive bandwidth.
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Fan Mail! Woot. It's time for fan mail, boys and girls! Today's fanmail is from an Evan Beaton.

Who are you? You are a no name skank ass bitch who thinks they can be a somebody in life when in reality you are a NOTHING. You are the CORN in my SHIT and that is TRULY a COMPLIMENT to you. You smell like CABBAGE.
You are definitely the BIGGEST retard on earth and shouldnt breathe the same air as me.
What is your CONTRIBUTION to LIFE? if you can answer this then REPLY SKANK.
LATER

*Flips card over and reads the back* Oh lookie, its a Hotmail. "When you care enough to hate the very best!" How sweet.

Aww, and the opinion of a total stranger, who obviously has done so much with their life since they are sitting around sending out emails that have nothing of intelligence to say, no apparent reason for sending the email, and have an overwhelming predilection towards the caps lock key, means *so* much to me. Thanks for the laugh. You're funny. :-) I guess that makes your contribution to life sending out seemingly random, insulting emails to people. Congratulations. :-)

Sláinte! I know it's been a couple of weeks since I last did one of these, and I doubt anyone cares anyway, but I'll have to get back into it next week and not this one, since right now I'm in North Carolina, and I'm tired and don't feel like researching and typing up one. Wow, was that a long run-on sentence or what.
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Fri5 Oh ya, forgot to mention. No Friday 5 this week again. And I just couldn't be buggered to do an archived one on time. But since I'm bored now, here's a late one, originally posted October 5, 2001 and another from October 26, 2001.
1. What's on top of your refrigerator? Whatever finds its way up there. Mostly miscellanous papers, like receipes and stuff, and bread.
2. What's your favorite meal of the day? I don't have one.
3. Wash dishes by hand or in the dishwasher? What detergent do you use? Dishwasher. Whatever we picked up at the store. Nothing specific.
4. How often do you eat out compared to eating in? Just about every weekday I grab something fast for lunch. Generally something with grilled chicken from Toxic Hell... er... Taco Bell, or chicken nuggets from McDonald's.
5. How do you plan to spend your weekend? Weekends over. I spent it lazing about, reading books, and on the internet.

1. What's your favorite time of day? Anytime after I get off work.
2. What's your least favorite time of day? Anytime when I have to wake up.
3. Are you a morning person or a night owl? Does it cause any problems? Night owl. Some, yeah. I find it hard to get up to go to work, and since Daryl can't stay up late, and I like to stay up late, that causes some problems there.
4. If you had an entire worry- and obligation-free day, what would you do with it? Absolutely nothing! Generally, the same thing I do on the weekends.
5. How do you plan to spend your weekend? See above!
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Hrm Man's Anatomy and Shoe Size - Penis Size Conversion Chart - American, British, European, Japanese, Inches, Centimeters, & Mondopoint Shoe Sizes vs. Penis Size

Fri5
1. What do you do for a living? Data entry for Medicare. I'm the shift lead, which basically means I get to do more work for the same amount of pay by acting as the supervisor when the manager's not around.
2. What do you like most about your job? I don't have to deal with the public, and besides the occasional question from co-workers about a Medicare claim, I generally get left alone.
3. What do you like least about your job? It's too damn far away, and it's only part-time. They keep saying they're going full time, but it's always "soon", but since we just implemented a totally new claims processing system and the work is building up, that "soon" really will be.
4. When you have a bad day at work it's usually because _____... Migraines.
5. What other career(s) are you interested in? Paralegal.
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Sláinte! So yeah, there's no Sláinte! this week, but I doubt anyone noticed anyway. I've been sick, and couldn't be buggered to do it.
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Fri5 No Friday Five again this week, it seems. So, rather than leave this area blank, I'm going back to the very first Friday Five ever posted and answering it instead. And out of utter boredom, the next one as well.

September 21, 2001
1. Where were you born (city or state or just country)? East Ridge, Tennessee. That's on the outskirts of Chattanooga. It's up in the mountains, and daddy used to joke that I was a "ridge runner".
2. What is your favorite number? Seven. I don't know why, it just is.
3. Vanilla or chocolate? Assuming ice cream, vanilla. But I like chocolate syrup on it.
4. What section of a bookstore would I find you in? Fantasy for teh win! Or the magazine section, picking up my favorite fantasy magazine, Realms of Fantasy.
5. What kind of mattress do you have on your bed? soft? firm? water? Firm. I prefer it. Soft mattresses make my back hurt. But not hard, just firm enough to support my back.

September 28, 2001
1. Laying on your back and facing the ceiling, which side of the bed do you sleep on? The right side since I like facing the edge of the bed when I'm getting to sleep, and I generally sleep on my right side.
2. Do you have to have covers (blankets and/or sheets) at all costs, no matter the weather? Yes. Because I have asthma, I find it easier to breathe when the air is on the colder side, so I try to a/c low, and snuggle up under my blankets with them pulled up over my head. Plus I find the weight of them rather comforting.
3. Sleep nekkid or no? Why? Depends on my mood. Lately I haven't been sleeping nekkid. No particular reason.
4. What's under your bed? Not much. A couple of plastic containers that I store things I don't need in.
5. If you have pets, do you let them sleep with you? Why or why not? No. For one thing, while I have a cat, I don't have her at my apartment. My parents have her right now because our apartment doesn't allow pets. If I did have her however, I still wouldn't allow her to sleep on the bed. I tried that once and woke up with a really bad stuffy nose and watery eyes. Damn long-haired cat and my allergies.
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Sláinte! Today brings the lyrics of The Irish Rover, April Fool's Day traditions in Ireland, another Gaelic word to go with sláinte, and a couple of Irish toasts.

The Irish Rover

The one verse in italics is, at the bar I frequent, not generally sung. The audience participation parts are also from the bar I frequent. I don't know if they are universal or not.

On the fourth of July eighteen hundred and six*
We set sail from the sweet cove of Cork
We were sailing away with a cargo of bricks
For the grand city hall in New York
'Twas a wonderful craft, she was rigged fore-and-aft
And oh, how the wild winds drove her.
She had twenty-three masts and withstood several blasts
And we called her the Irish Rover.

We had one million bags of the best Sligo rags
We had two million barrels of stones
We had three million sides of old blind horses hides,
We had four million barrels of bones.
We had five million hogs, we had six million dogs,
Seven million barrels of porter.
We had eight million bales of old nanny goats' tails,
In the hold of the Irish Rover.

There was awl Mickey Coote who played hard on his flute
When the ladies lined up for his set
He was tootin' with skill for each sparkling quadrille*
Though the dancers were fluther'd and bet*
With his sparse witty talk he was cock of the walk
As he rolled the dames under and over
They all knew at a glance when he took up his stance
And he sailed in the Irish Rover

There was Barney McGee from the banks of the Lee,
There was Hogan from County Tyrone
There was Jimmy McGurk who was scarred stiff of work
And a man from Westmeath called Malone
There was Slugger O'Toole who was drunk as a rule
And fighting Bill Tracey from Dover
And your man Mick McCann from the banks of the Bann
Was the skipper of the Irish Rover

We had sailed seven years when the measles broke out
And the ship lost it's way in a fog. (Audience: Big fog!)
And that whale of the crew was reduced down to two,
Just meself and the captain's old dog.
Then the ship struck a rock, oh Lord what a shock (Audience: bang on the table with your beer glass)
The ship it was turned right over
Turned nine times around, and the poor dog was drowned (Audience: Glug, glug, glug)
I'm the last of the Irish Rover

*The first line is sometimes sung as "In the year of our Lord, eighteen hundred and six". A quadrille is a type of square dance that caught on in the early 1900s in France and England. Fluthered is Irish slang for being drunk, but I'm not sure what the last part of the phrase "fluthered and bet" means. I've also heard of a chorus to each verse, but I've never actually heard it. The chorus purportedly goes thus: So fare thee well, my own true love, / I'm going far from you, / And I will swear by the stars above / Forever I'll be true to you, / Tho' as I part, it breaks my heart, / Yet when the trip is over / I'll come back again in true Irish style / Aboard the Irish Rover.

April Fool's Day Prior to the 16th century, the New Year was celebrated on April 1st. When Pope Gregory introduced the new Christian calender in 1582, New Year's Day became January 1st. The people that didn't hear the news continued to celebrate New Years on April 1st as usual, and this is probably how the custom of giving people false news on April 1st was spread. A common practical joke in Ireland was to have a note delivered to someone that says "send the fool further". These would often also have a verse that reads "don't you laugh, and don't you smile, send the gowk another mile." A gowk is a Celtic word for cuckoo and is slang for a gullible or naive person. Traditionally, the pranks and false errands are only supposed to continue until noon. Information from irishcultureandcustoms.com.

Health and Wealth Another word that goes with sláinte is taáinte, meaning wealth. So the phrase would go "sláinte is taáinte" meaning health and wealth, and would be pronounced slancha iss tancha, or more accurately SLAWN-chuh iss TAWN-chuh.

Cheers! By the way, a poltroon is a coward.
He's a fool who give over the liquor,
It softens the skinflint at once,
It urges the slow coach on quicker,
Gives spirit and brains to the dunce.
The man who is dumb as a rule
Discovers a great deal to say,
While he who is bashful since Yule
Will talk in an amorous way.
It's drink that uplifts the poltroon
To give battle in France and in Spain,
Now here is an end of my turn-
And fill me that bumper again!

For [insert city of your choosing] hath no sober man,
Or none of milk sop thinkers,
And no philosophical fools,
But great and glorious drinkers!

Sláinte!
AllieKat

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