As the Flame Burns

And now it's time for another exciting episode of As the Flame Burns!

In our last episode, Robbie had found John in the bathroom doing crack and had called his heterosexual life-mate, Allie, to come get him at 4am.

Since then, John has acquired gainful employment and has claimed to be clean. Then, one fateful night, Robbie finds a crack-pipe! On confronting John, John claims that he planted the pipe knowing that Robbie would find it, thus proving that Robbie does not trust him (for good reason, we feel).

Then, Monday morning, Robbie, in an attempt to get in contact with John and not finding him at home, goes to John's purported place of employment, only to find... they had never heard of him. Robbie returns to John's only to be verbally assaulted as John gets into a taxi to go to his mother's work for money.

Is this really the end for our homo duo? Tune in next time for... As the Flame Burns!

Today...

I signed my divorce papers today. It wasn't easy. It's like six years of my life have been undone with a few strokes of a pen. I know it's best that it's almost over, but it's still not fun. Not that I expected it to be fun, but you get the idea.

My sister took me shopping for clothes as a belated birthday present. She spent like two hundred dollars on me. I guess having a sister is good for something after all! ;) I wound up getting four shirts, three pairs of earrings, and a new watch. And only one of the shirts am I not really sure I like. But she loved it and so did my mother. It just doesn't seem... me... to me. But I'll wear it anyway, since it's comfortable and everyone else seems to like it.

So that was my day off. Yay.

Eep!

I've been roped into singing at church on Good Friday.

Hmmm... Aren't all Friday's good?

Erm, anyway. This is what I get for being a daddy's girl, and having a father that's a preacher.

As the Flame Burns

And now for our newest episode of the gay soap opera that is my best friends life... As the Flame Burns!

4am Sunday: Allie has just laid down and turned out the light. The phone rings.

Allie: Hello?
Robbie: Hey, can you do me a big favour?
Allie: What...
Robbie: Can you come get me?
Allie: Why, what's wrong?
Robbie: I don't want to talk about it on the phone.
Allie: I'll be there as soon as I can.

5am Sunday: Allie arrives at John's house. Robbie is outside with his belongings. He gets in the car. Robbie relays story of how he caught John in the bathroom, with a crack pipe, with crack in said crack pipe. How John denies up one side and down the other that he was smoking crack. That it's Robbie's fault that he's smoking the crack he's not smoking. That it's Robbie's fault for not trusting him.

5:30am Sunday: Allie and Robbie stop at a truckstop for breakfast and coffee for Allie. Crazy waitress tells Allie she has a cat on her head. (Refer to picture with kitty hat.) Crazy waitress tells Allie she should name her cat "Harry".

6:30am Sunday: Allie and Robbie head to Allie's house.

6:45am Sunday: John calls to tell Robbie that if Robbie loved him more, he wouldn't have left. Robbie says for 12 month's he's been here for him. John tells Robbie he's not here for him, he's with Allison and hangs up.

7am Sunday: Allie and Robbie are sitting in the kitchen relaying the John smoking crack debacle to Allie's dad. Mom does double take when she comes down the stairs and sees Robbie.

Deciding it would be a waste of a perfectly good Sunday afternoon, Allie and Robbie spend the morning watching Johnny Depp movies (yum) and then get ready to meet Jerri and see Lucky Number Slevin. Afterward, Allie, Robbie and Jerri go to Booksamillion. They sit around chatting and throwing wadding up balls of paper down Allie's shirt. They eventually wind up going to dinner, and Allie finally takes Robbie home.

Does Robbie take John back?... again...? Does Allie fall asleep at work on Monday? Does Allie kill Robbie for being an idiot and dating a known druggie? Find out the answers to these and other important questions on the next episode of... As the Flame Burns!

So basically what I'm getting at here is... John's a dick, and I was about ready to fall asleep on my keyboard at work. What a great weekend!

I'll Probably Regret This

I have an extremely long (for me) post/rant today. It's not my fault. I was sitting on a cold floor in a hot, stuffy stairwell at work with irritable, worried people for three hours today while the weather was being bitchy. I needed something to do, so I pull out a pad and pen and start writing. It's about religion, which is always a sticky subject, so I'll probably get bitched at for being "down" on religion. It's not that I'm down on religion, or anti-religion. But I'll probably get comments like "I'll pray for you" or "I'm sorry you hate God" or "you shouldn't judge, we're not all like that" (which I know, there are good Christians out there, I know quite a few) or "STFU, GOD ROXX!"

But I'll risk it.

Last night, out of curiosity, I looked up alumni from my high school on myspace in the 23-27 year old range to see if there was anyone I would recognize. Sure enough, there's this one guy I recognize immediately that was in my grade. His headline was something like "they call me 'Juan Valez' because I grind so fine". Not exactly what I was expecting from anyone that I knew from high school. Keep in mind that I went to a super religious Church of Christ school. So I click on his profile and there, in the "about me" section, there's this hugely long bible verse about creating in me a pure heart, cleanse me of sin, blah blah.

So what type of "grinding" exactly are we talking about here? Because in every Church of Christ that I know, and like, every other Christian church besides, they tend to frown on the extra-marital type of "grinding", if you will. And something gives me the feeling he wasn't talking about coffee. So what type of "grinding" are we talking about, Mister Pure of Heart?

Then I saw this other girl my age from my high school. There was her spiel about how great Jesus is and how she's saved, et cetra. But in her pictures she's looking like what I'd imagine an extra in a Britney Spears video would look like.

Of course, they were both the "down your throat, in your face" kind of Christian, which I particularly dislike. I respect other peoples religious choices, but please, don't shove it down my throat, especially if you yourself aren't exactly a model example of your religion.

Now don't get me wrong. It's not that I care how slutty someone looks or how lame their pickup lines are. Quiite the opposite in fact. I don't give a fuck. Basically, what I'm getting at is that it's hypocrisy like this that has caused me to give up on religion. Like I said, that doesn't mean I'm anti-religion. I have my own belief system and I choose not the foist it upon anyone else. I'm just sick and tired of all the hypocrisy I saw while in Christian schools and going to church. It's the saying one thing, doing another. It's the saying one thing over here, but then over here saying or doing the opposite when it suits you. It's the condemning someone for doing something that's a "sin", but then doing it yourself.

All through school and going to church I was subjected to people that were all goodness and light to your face and backstabbing bitches behind your back. (Wouldn't be backstabbing otherwise, would it?) So much for being a shining example to others.

I remember one church I went to, the members had a total fit when there were some black people (*gasp* the scandal) that wanted to use the church on Sunday evenings (when no one else was using it) for their services until their own building could be built. There was this one faction of elderly people and their children that kept saying things like "these people" are going to take over the church. They even reported the preacher to the black district superintendant for going against the "will of the people". I guess they thought they could just not mention the actual issue that he was going against them over. Obviously these people were paragons of goodness and virtue. According to themselves.

My best friend, Robbie, and I spent our entire school lives in Christian schools. And since our school was Church of Christ and officially neither of us were, we spent our impressionable young lives having the message "You don't believe in the same version of Christianity that we do, so you are going to hell" drilled into our heads on a daily basis. It seems like the utmost in conceit to me to say "I'm right and everyone that agrees with me is right, and the rest of you religions can suck it because there's no way in hell that you can be right. And I have this book that I wrote to prove it!" I paraphrase of course.

My parents wanted to send me to a Christian school so that I'd get a "better" education. Plus, I think they thought they would keep me away from any unsavory things that go on in the real world. Now, I've never been in public school, but I've talked to plenty of people that have. It seems to me, after hearing their stories, that my "good" school was just as bad, if not worse. Worse because all the same things were done, but they were done under a facade of righteousness. All the drugs, sex and et cetra was all there. And on top of it was the kids that were depressed or suicided because their peers or parents would never accept them. Or they couldn't accept themselves.

I never told my mother about the abortions, the suicides, the drugs, the sex, or the unhappiness I saw around me. Maybe she knew anyway. But I think it made her happy to think that they did their best for me (and they always did do what was best for me, and I appreciate it). And it made me happy to let her.

Some People Were Put on Earth Just to Annoy Me...

Okay, so I exaggerate. But some days it just seems like it. Don't you ever have days like that?

Do you have a person you work with that if you ever went on a murderous rampage you would be sure to start with that person? Or is it just me...

She's loud. She's obnoxious. She talks for a living. The whole fucking floor can hear her. (Think "Office Space": Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking. Just a moment.)

Since I'm new on this floor, people keep asking me how I like it. I always smile and say something polite and then casually mention how it's a bit louder than I'm used to and how it's hard to get used to sitting next to the customer service department. They always roll their eyes, nod knowingly, and say something along the lines of "I don't know why they can't put her in a back corner."

When my former co-workers ask how I like it I don't even bother being polite in my rant about the "loud obnoxious customer service woman." One guy rolled his eyes and said, "You must mean the red-headed one with the big mouth that spouts a lot of nonsense." Yes! Exactly! Oh good, so it's not just me...

She even talks to herself or... whoever happens to be walking by... in between calls. She'll hang up and say things like "Good god, take your freakin' medicine, lady."

The only amusement I got out of her was when she had to get her supervisor to talk to a particularly irrate customer. She said "He's just a cranky old man. He's either off his meds or off his rocker!" I got a small chuckle out of that.

She set off my sense of irony earlier today when she hung up the phone and complained, "I thought that woman would never shut up!"

"Yes," I thought. "My thoughts exactly."

Now a small disclaimer before anyone points out how mean I'm being to this poor woman. I'm cranky. I've had a bad day. I freely admit she does her job and she does it well. She's friendly and helpful with the customers. Someone has to help poor old granny with her Medicare questions. I just wish she'd do it quieter. Or... somewhere else. I mean, the other CSRs can manage to take a call without the entire floor being able to hear them. And I can only turn my headphones up so loud without either going deaf or giving myself a migraine.

/rant off

Whew. I just had to get that off my chest. It's been one of those days. We all have them sometimes!

Thank you and have a nice day.

Women and Men...

My mother insists women and men cannot be platonic friends.

Here's what prompted this statement from my mother. I have a friend (oh my god, shocking I know). He's male (hence the pronoun "he"). He's married. We hang out. Alone. Together. *gasp* Oh my god!

This usually prompts statements from my mother such as "Does his wife know he's out with you?". Or, "I would never let your father go off with another woman alone."

Apparently Robbie is the exception to this rule, as he and I have been friends for... longer than I can remember and she doesn't object to him anymore. I suppose it's because he's gay, so that's okay, since he'd have no interest in sleeping with me.

I told my mother that I didn't agree with that statement, that it was stupid and old-fashioned. (Okay probably not the best idea to tell your mother she has a stupid idea, and less than eloquent. Oh well.) But it got me thinking.

So I'm wondering, in this day and age of bisexuality and homosexuality and even polyamory, does that mean that no one can be friends (in my mothers line of reasoning of course). Gay men/women can't be friends with another gay man/woman. Or straight men/women and bisexual men/women. Or a married couple and another man or woman. Or two married couples. Do I hear threesome or foursome?

Or maybe my parents think that I just can't be around another man without wanting to have sex with him. Or them with me. Like I'm that slutty or irresistable to men (yeah, right... you can stop laughing now. No. Really. Quit it!).

Oh God, Oh God

Hey, we all worship in our own way.

New Toy *glee*

So yes... I went out tonight and spent too much to buy a nice spiffy Nikon Coolpix L4 digital camera. If you care (or if you don't!), it's 4.0 mp, 3x optical zoom and 4x digital zoom, 2 inch LCD screen, and it takes TV size video clips.

Buying it was an ordeal in and of itself. I didn't know what I wanted when I went in, beyond just... "a digital camera". So I found this one, not a bad price, $149, and it was on sale to include a free (after a mail-in rebate of 99 dollars) Epson Stylus Photo Printer. It doesn't include a memory card so I grab one of those, too, also with a mail-in rebate. So I buy it and Robbie and I go out to the car and he points out I'll need photo paper for the printer. So we go back in and I shell out another 20 bucks for photo paper. Then we get to the car and I want to play with my camera so Robbie opens the box and starts taking out all the miscellaneous crap that comes with electronics (pfft, manuals, who reads those) and there's... no camera. Smart ass Robbie quips "See, I told you it was so small you'd lose it. You lost it before you even opened the box."

We head back in, and stand around aimlessly while staff runs around trying to find out where the missing camera is, probably secretly thinking I stashed it in my car, before determining that it was, indeed an empty box, for the display model that some one had put back in the "shit for sale" case on accident. So I carefully examined the display model, determined it was not banged up or scratched and was functioning and then stood around for another ten minutes while someone was located to free my newly purchased toy from it's electronic theft-deterrent cord thingy. So that was fun.

So, anywhozzle, I now have a new toy to play with. *glee* And... I have pictures!

Here's Robbie taking a picture of me taking a picture of him:


Here's Jerri giving me a "if looks could kill you'd be so dead now" look:


For those of you that have been playing along with the alliekat.net: home edition, Jerri is my newest online friend that I had the privilege of meeting in person a week ago today. He has since been out with myself and Robbie a few times, and thus receives the official alliekat.net Seal of Approval™ for being able to tolerate us long enough to hang out with us more than one time.

Here's moi looking ghostly from too much flash (Oh who am I kidding. I look ghostly from no exposure to the light of day.):


And here's Robbie giving me a "if looks could kill you'd be so dead now" look (I have a feeling I'll be getting a lot of those...):